Thursday, September 2, 2010

Holding my tongue.

Earlier my friend (Mike) felt the need to get something off his chest and was honest with me, telling me how he never had feelings for two people at the same time before. He says we have a connection and our personalities mesh well whereas him and his boyfriend have a personality clash. From what i know this is the 2nd break up they've had so far and now back together again, this time not the boyfriends fault though. But i still wonder how many times it's going to take for him to realize it. In my previous posts i said i'm not waiting for him, it sure feels like it. I did really we suppressing my feelings for him, and i have to suppress them once more. I've never had this strong of feelings for someone before, never thought i'd ever fall for my good friend or someone who's in a relationship.

I purposely held my tongue today in the car because i don't want to confuse him, he's torn as it is and i dont want to make it worse. I love him, and i care a lot about him but first and for most he's my friend so i'm going to be there for when he needs a hand or an ear. I was able to push my feelings aside before, is it possible to do it again and hope it won't occur again to where i'll have to suppress my feelings for the third time? i hope not...i don't know if i should tell him how i feel or not.

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