Monday, August 31, 2009

it's cool to act ghetto

People who know me know that i generally hate people. i say that because looking back on the past, i've encountered many many bullies and mean people in my life. my cousins and my sister have been mean to me, first grade, 4th grade, 6th grade, middle school, and high school i've had to deal with someone being a bitch to me.

As i was walking towards my car after class, there was two middle school looking ghetto boys, one was on his bike, the other was walking, and i see the boy on the bike mugging me and as i walked by he said something in that ghetto deep tone, and his friend started to laugh. i didn't care to look back nor say anything because i couldn't even understand what he said.

but it annoyed me because i'm wondering why he chose me to be the victim of his "cool-ness." is it because i'm asian? and short? maybe...

i really wanna just drop him off in the ghetto and see how cool and ghetto they'll act then.

i should have hit him off his bike.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Friday, August 21, 2009

Be still my heart

Have you ever had to say goodbye to someone
despite how you felt about them?



I never really knew how hard it would be to do so. Feelings for them still linger but honestly they're not good for me. I have no idea why i kept up with them for so long, since I was a necessity to them. It was a one way street kind of relationship, where I was the only one who was stupid enough to fall for them. Even if they seem to be happy to be with you or based on the things they say. Seems like they're very skilled with their words to get what they want.

It is so much easier to just stop talking to someone and let this relationship die off on its own, rather then having to say goodbye to them. I woke up with a heavy feeling this morning, as if someone close to me had died. So i'm glad that school is starting next week, at least i'll have more important things to occupy my mind.

Until then...I will remain on the sidelines and continue admiring the boys from afar.


Sara Bareilles - Gravity


Love of Siam OST - Gun Lae Gun (Together)

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I'm pmsing

It's so easy to just not talk to someone for awhile and then start to not care about them but right when they message you out of the blue, everything starts going back to the norm. my emotions is going up and down like a rollercoaster, but it feels really good to weed out the bad guys. it's hard because i have grown to like them and care for them but it's only a one way street.

from past history, i'm learning not to trust what people say to me. well, boys for that matter because a lot of them never follow through. so until their words are proven by their actions, i won't trust anyone.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

i'm wet

So here i am writing this entry all sweaty lol. I just finished a 1.8 mile short burst sprint/walk in 27 minutes. I start off by sprinting until i'm tired then i walk until i catch my breath and repeat it over and over until i get back home exactly 1.8 miles. It seems to be working fairly well, my calves are showing some definition, i hope it's working my quads as well.

i think it's been about 3 weeks now since i've been trying this. running outside really is harder than running on a treadmill. i was totally winded the first time in a long time when i went out to run.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Boys Boys Boys

Boys are trouble, i think it's best if i just stay on the sidelines for awhile and just observe how cute they are from a distance and leave it at that. It's been awhile since i last talked to the boy i feel as though i am only a necessity to him. I texted him a while back and never got any responses, i'm at the point where i don't really care anymore. i wish his move to LA would be in September like it was planned, but he's moving in October instead.

Luu's entry about a boy reminded me of a cute boy that i saw every morning for six weeks on my way to my summer class. I never had any reason or courage to just go up to the front desk and talk to him. But a week before class ended i really did have a question to ask him, but i ended up looking stupid because of my drying contacts and the fact that i lost my train of thought in the process.

Me: hi
Him: hello
Me: how do i uhhh....

(my contacts were drying so i was rubbing my eye, and probably looked stupid while doing so)

Me: transfer my units to another school?
Him: you need to fill out a request form for a transcript.
Me: oh...okay, thanks.

The next few days i tried to just make eye contact with him but it never worked. So i no longer see cute boy, and when i did have an encounter with him i looked stupid hahha

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Happy Birthday...Part 2

The 2nd part of my birthday was pretty eventful. We stayed at Highlands Resort in Guerneville. It's a gay friendly resort that had camp sites and cabins, with nude jacuzzi and sun batheing for the brave.

We went to our first underwear for July 4th.

Nearby was a national park, so we took a long hike through the red wood trees. We were definitely unprepared for this trip. We didn't bring the proper clothing and forgot some important things that luckily we didn't really need to survive. The only shoes i had was my sperry top sider boat shoes. So i ended up hiking through the forest in boat shoes lol. I looked ridiculous with my jeans tucked into them so my bare feet was not exposed to all the bugs.

video
It's so peaceful and untouched by man. Well besides the trails and barricades.

Life, Love, Hope & Meat that pretty much sums it all up.

video
It took us about an hour to finish the hike and my boat shoes held up to the challenging slopes.

On our way back home from the trip we stopped by a nearby beach...the warning sign of dog crap is just straight to the point

Thursday, August 6, 2009

it's complicated

So i'm still talking and hanging out with The Boy. I don't even know where we stand..i consider it complicated because we get pretty affectionate when we're together.

I'm just learning a lot in this complicated relationship thing...i can get pretty clingy, paranoid and a worry wart. So despite this hectic...so-called relationship...i am learning...to be a better future partner hahah.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

What I Wore Today: 073109



Whitesox baseball cap
Obey Graphic T
Asos Chinos
Onitsuka Tiger by Asics sneakers
Fred Flare Japanese Talking Watch
Beaded Bracelet from a Buddhist Temple