Sunday, May 24, 2009

some random

A cluster of things that happened...

I'm done with finals yay! I check my grades on thursday.

It's frustrating trying to make plans to hang out with friends, and they flake or don't respond.

I had a job interview at a design firm for possible internship or freelance gigs. He said he'll call by friday, it's sunday. I think i failed. =/

Yesterday was two of my friend's graduations. I feel bad because i didn't go.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

I'm more than unfriendly

On top of being unfriendly i talk slow too, don't forget this! i also speak monotone, add that to the books people. it's not the first time someone's told me that. Don't people know, that if they have NOTHING nice to say, don't even bother? This is why i'm unfriendly, because i don't like people. I don't like people who think they have the right to make it apparent of someone's speech, skin issue, and whatever else that can be up in the air. So yes, i don't like people because i've dealt with negativity too much, to even care what people have to say to me, which is why i'm shy, which is why i don't talk much, i'd much prefer it that way so i don't have to deal with stupid people.

I'm not butt hurt over it, i'm just spilling out what i think right now. This will add another layer to my already built wall, thank you :]

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I'm Unfriendly

The other day while i was out with my friends at a bar, some guy came up to talk to my friend who were then introduced to me. As we shook hands he gave me a weird look, and squeezed my hand harder, which triggered me to squeeze harder too. As he was talking to my friend, he kept giving me weird looks.

After the guy left, my friend said he thought i was unfriendly. It made me wonder how i act when i first meet people, and maybe my shyness and fear of people come across more than i've thought. So maybe i should try being more "friendly" towards people. Funny how one encounter can change your actions.

But the one thing i can't do is be able to mingle and talk to people i don't know. I wouldn't know what to say or bring up into a conversation, instead there's silence and the end of a meeting.

Thursday, May 7, 2009


I hung out with white boy today, nothing's changed. Only this time he asked me to do him a huge favor and take him to pick his car up in the city. I have no idea why i did it, i suppose i'm too nice for my own good.

Before he got out of my car, he said i can just leave or wait for him, so i said i'll just follow him.
He got out, slammed my door shut and walked away without saying thank you or any sort of gesture, i would certainly thank someone who did them a favor.

After a few minutes, i texted him and told him i was leaving. Hopefully as i drove away, i also left my feelings behind.

Why is it that i'm always after unrequited love, as J.T. has said.

Season's change

there's a part of me that always feels lonely and longing to have someone. But it gets worse when comes the busiest time with school, and maybe the nice spring/summer weather coming. I don't know why, but possibly because i was born in the summer, maybe thats when my heart starts fluttering its wings faster than it normally does.

I noticed that whenever i do date someone or a relationship forms, summer lovin' is what i have, which ends when august/September comes around. Only once was it never just a summer love.

Like Letopho said about liking someone who's straight, in the closet, or someone who doesnt even feel the same way about you, i should stop it and not let this happen again. Kinda hard to do so, but maybe i'll start liking someone who's more worthy of my time and feelings later on, as of now, i'll most likely continue liking someone who doesn't return the favor back, to keep myself busy on top of going to school :]


Just thought i'd post here, just so you know i'm still alive, just busy with school since it is winding down in a week or so. I got lots of stuff to do, so i'll be back in a few :]