Monday, July 14, 2008

in a far away land

Sometimes i wish i lived closer to my friends. I have to put in effort to make sure the plans are for sure so i don't have to drive the 30 minutes 20+ miles to the destination and nothing works out. I wish i lived closer so i can make random spontaneous calls to my friends and just say lets hang out and i'll be there in 5 minutes or 10. I have to say ok meet you in 45 min.

I'm bored with nothing to do and i dont feel like driving or much of anything for that matter.

Yesterday i went to look for a job. It was a total bust and i was pissed off for reasons i don't know. But i was annoyed and my aunt/sister kept bothering me and asking me questions when i already said to leave me alone.

I'm also tired of living at home...with the consistent nagging. Especially when my aunt makes sexist remarks or makes her decisions based on the fact that i'm a guy and what i should do as a guy. Yes i'm a guy but that doesn't mean i have to always wear guy colors because colors have no gender. We as people created genders in colors and lately the lines have pretty much blurred as to what guys and girls should wear. my aunt is stuck in her time and it's no longer like that but she continues on putting her thoughts into what i do. It's the example of when someone thinks they're wise...they're no longer wise because when they think they are wise they have reached an end to their ability to constantly learn. She would know that guys these days wear more fitted clothing, they wear red, pink, purple the colors that people would consider girl colors. It also doesn't make them gay!

My aunt probably suspects my sexuality and that's why she's making all these judgements and remarks to make herself happy. But it's definitely not making me much happier. Today my sister said there was a spider in the bathroom and my aunt told me to go kill it, i said no i hate spiders. and she said No you have to, your a guy. So since i'm a guy i'm not afraid of anything. Since my mom and my aunt were pretty much the one's who raised me they can pretty much blame themselves for my fears and paranoia because they're the ones who are paranoid and fearful of things first. I don't like being told what to do, because i know what to do. I dont need them lecturing me about anything. Because my family has never been the brady bunch and it'll never be like that, so them trying to lecture me as im leaving the house doesn't make things any better then it already is. Don't they already know not to drink and drive or whatever the hell else spills out of their mouth?

No comments: