Thursday, November 18, 2010


Whoops sorry about the hiatus. Just tired of complaining about boy troubles. FYI its still the same shit since september except he knows how i truly feel. But i should not let a boy stop me from doing what i do.

I'm thinking of forming a new blog strictly for creative thoughts, work, and the joys that come to our life. Fashion, art, visual orgasms. That sounds like polar opposites from this blog. Sorry for such depressing entries

P.S. if anyone has Tumblr come follow me at


Thursday, September 2, 2010

Holding my tongue.

Earlier my friend (Mike) felt the need to get something off his chest and was honest with me, telling me how he never had feelings for two people at the same time before. He says we have a connection and our personalities mesh well whereas him and his boyfriend have a personality clash. From what i know this is the 2nd break up they've had so far and now back together again, this time not the boyfriends fault though. But i still wonder how many times it's going to take for him to realize it. In my previous posts i said i'm not waiting for him, it sure feels like it. I did really we suppressing my feelings for him, and i have to suppress them once more. I've never had this strong of feelings for someone before, never thought i'd ever fall for my good friend or someone who's in a relationship.

I purposely held my tongue today in the car because i don't want to confuse him, he's torn as it is and i dont want to make it worse. I love him, and i care a lot about him but first and for most he's my friend so i'm going to be there for when he needs a hand or an ear. I was able to push my feelings aside before, is it possible to do it again and hope it won't occur again to where i'll have to suppress my feelings for the third time? i hope not...i don't know if i should tell him how i feel or not.

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Thursday, August 26, 2010


Eternal Summer really hits the spot for me, i can relate to it on so many different levels. It just really explains how i feel at the moment, lost, confused, in love or like with my good friend.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Some Good, Some Bad, Some Unknown

I thought i graduated as of May 2010. Turns out i didn't complete a required class, so it looks like i haven't graduated yet. This class will continue to haunt me until i complete it. I really don't understand why math is such an important class to take when i have already dipped my feet into my work field. Graphic Design and Photography has no need for math so i'm pretty much wasting my time re-taking it even though i do need the class.

I met a new boy that i'm intrigued by. We physically flirt with each other but who knows where that'll take it. At least i have someone new to flirt with for now. I shouldn't think too much into it but i like him.

Searching for jobs is scary and sometimes i feel as though i'm not good enough i need to just plow through that feeling and just try?

My birthday was last week, t'was very fun. Had dinner at cheesecake factory on my actual bday had tons of cake. The next day went to the usual club and maybe had a bit too much to drink, mixing beer + vodka NOT a good thing ended up leaving early. I think a lot of the times i got fucked up was on my birthday. Then Saturday i had dinner with some friends at a French restaurant followed by beer + bowling. As the night went on some of our bowling abilities got better with more beer.

Some people also bitched about not being invited or being uninvited. Theres just too many people to invite now that i dont know who to invite who not to invite. so i just only invited my closest friends and the ones that did respond to my invites. Maybe next year i wont plan my bday events then. So many people flaked i had to change amount of guests on my reservations so many times. All and all t'was fun though.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

The Friend

It was nice to feel that connection with him again, even though it was for that short period of time. At least i know there's still a possibility. Not that i'm waiting for him or anything.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

I'm the best he never had

Just found out today from Mike that he's kinda back with the bf. i figured because the stupid bf can't stop commenting on Mike's status posts, it's vomit inducing! i ended up being the rebound. i just sent him an email giving him my two cents, he wasted my feelings emotions and time, it's time for me to move on. I thought he was actually a good guy but he turned out to be just one of the guys. stupid stupid me, i need to stop, and focus all my attention on art, school, and my future, with or without a partner in crime!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

The Talk

My emotions were going haywire after Friday night at the club, it really messed me up seeing Mike all over Jack. It bothered me for several days 'til I talked to a few friends about the issue. They helped me put things into perspective and i really needed to focus on school first. So I decided to tell Mike how I felt about the events that occurred Friday and he was really understanding.

Me: Did you go on a date with Jack?
Mike: How did you know about that?
Me: I heard someone mention it last time.
Mike: Oh...I went out to dinner with him (blah blah blah)
Me: How was it?
Mike: He turns out to be psycho, even for me lol